If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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