you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
