You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
