I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Are we still banned from the library?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
