just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
