Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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