oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
