I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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