How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
