I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I supernannyed him into submission
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
