It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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