the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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