So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
