I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i out mim tonsoeep
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