What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
