drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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