Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
nutella sex= disaster
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
