we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
