is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
