What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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