no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
