Soap is not a condiment
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
