I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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