U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
