Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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