Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
