i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
