My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
