the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
