I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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