Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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