i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
