Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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