So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
