he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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