She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
