it wasn't lemon gatorade
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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