i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
