Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
