So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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