He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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