sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
