It's Friday. Sex?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Blood and glitter go together right?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
