My brain says no but my pants say off.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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