Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
