Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
