i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
