Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
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