their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
