With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
