; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
We smell like vodka and hangover
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