it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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